Remembering What I never Experienced in this Life through the Backward Glance from the Heart - Looking out in Front into the Void of the Shoah - Remembering my own Middle Human Nature

                                                                   Painting by Gerard Wagner



In regard to the Michael School in the spiritual world, Rudolf Steiner wrote:

 "… wurde von den Menschenseelen, die prädestiniert waren, Anthroposophen zu werden, im Übersinnlichen etwas erlebt, was früher niemals in den überirdischen Regionen von Menschenseelen zwischen Tod und neuer Geburt erlebt worden ist. …

Da geschah dann etwas, was in den übersinnlichen Regionen damals Ereignis war, etwas, was heute im tiefsten Herzensinneren der meisten Anthroposophen, wenn auch unbewusst, schlafend, träumerisch ruht. Und der Anthroposoph kann recht tun, wenn er, an sein Herz greifend, sich sagt: Da drinnen ist ein mir heute vielleicht unbewusstes Geheimnis, das ein Abglanz ist der Michael-Taten aus dem 16., 17., 18. Jahrhundert in den überirdischen Regionen, wo ich vor meinem jetzigen Abstieg in die Erdenregion unter Michael gearbeitet habe, der etwas Besonderes arbeiten konnte, weil er sozusagen von seinen fortfließenden Aufgaben frei geworden war." (GA 240, 20.07.1924)

 It could be translated something like this -

 "Those human souls predestined to become Anthroposophists experienced something never previously experienced by human souls between death and rebirth in the super-earthly realms...

Something came to pass in the supersensible worlds. It was an Event (Ereignis) that lies implanted deep down in the hearts of the majority of Anthroposophists today, although in the unconscious, resting in sleep or dreamily. And the Anthroposophist can act in the right way, when he takes hold of his heart and says to himself: Within my heart there lies a secret although I may not yet be conscious of it. It is a secret mystery, that is an AFTERGLOW (or REFLECTION = Abglanz) of the deeds of Michael in the 16th, 17th, and 18th century, in realms beyond the Earth when before my present incarnation I was working with him. Michael, being free of his ongoing tasks, so to speak, was able to work in a special way." (GA 240 - 7/20, 1924)


 This actually means the following: A small kernel of etheric light-water is stored in the spiritual part of the heart. The follower of Michael-Christ can reach down gently into this region and look into this small pearl of light, wafting like a reflection on the water. Then one looks back (the Ab-glanz = I glance back and away from), and this tiny kernel of memory, coming from before I was on earth, expands and opens like a panorama. I can look out through my back, so to speak, and weave my own life-light-memory perception with this kernel of light. Stored in myself, I have a memory of something I never experienced in this life. It is a minor fragment of Imagination, which then can be linked up to the Event(s) that took place in the spiritual world before my birth. This little Imagination in me can expand, expand, expand backwards and cosmically - I expand back - and with a memory-look, I merge like a cloud with the cosmic cloud Imagination of the 16th century. Then I can review the knowledge (the essence of Anthroposophy) that was created there. I can remember my task.

But, we must also reach out in front of the heart and connect with the tragedy and devastation of what took place in 1933-1945 - what Yeshayahu Ben-Aharon describes in his Imagination:  the Michael School (now so small) above and the Christ now appearing in the etheric (now suffocated by human materialism and evil deeds done on earth below). In our empty heart, our empty being, we must look into the contemporary abyss. The center of our being must become the abyss.  My soul. life, and spirit then weave together with the Imaginations - which are full of world-sun-substance. 

Then we can look into our own time, 2020, with its humble individual potential. Are we able to connect the fullness of these cosmic Imaginations into our own human nature, to take on the real Michaelic task of today? This means to listen to the same potential in the depths of my neighbor and co-worker: the same cosmic SUN potential; the same potential for reversal, destruction, forgetfulness. If I am able to stand in the fire, with no answer, feeling helpless, and waiting for the Event to bring myself to myself. 

If we can feel the whole pulse, like the whole life cycle of a plant, cracking open, sprouting, expanding, repeating, blossoming, bulging, seeding, hardening, curling, browning, dying, dividing, replanting - then we can face the real situation of the present. Yes - the Christ is Here! But yes, the Titans are also here - working in me!

Let us get to work, with the light of the Spirit-I-AM guiding us - like a lamp from the future. Let us feel Michael's heart guiding us, like warmth from the present.